In Season

The Bench Regret Games

John dropped 140.4 points, the second-best output in the entire league, and still walked out 0-1 after Mike's 143.2 beat him by less than three. Meanwhile Brandon posted 93.5, way below the league average, and still couldn't beat Swap's equally lifeless 98.6 -- the week's two worst scores met in the same building. Brandon and John both come away 0-1 with plenty of season left to fix it.

Jalen Coker's 29.8 rotted away on Brad's bench, but Ashton Jeanty and Bijan Robinson did plenty on the field to cover for it and hold off Kyle anyway. Kyle got big nights from Jalen Hurts and Jonathan Taylor and still lost, the kind of week where the studs show up and the opener slips away regardless. Isaiah Likely flashed at tight end, but the rest of Kyle's lineup never got going.

Josh Allen throwing for 35.5 should have been enough to win, but John left Dalton Kincaid's big tight end output on the bench in favor of Harold Fannin Jr.'s quiet line, and that gap alone outweighs the final margin. Mike got just enough everywhere else to survive. John's tight end call is the one he'll be replaying all week.

Both benches out-quarterbacked the actual lineups: Swap sat Caleb Williams' monster line for Dak Prescott, and Brandon mirrored it by benching Jaxson Dart in favor of a quiet Joe Burrow. Ja'Marr Chase and Jaylen Waddle no-showed on top of that for Brandon, sinking him to the week's low. Swap survives, but shelving Caleb Williams while starting Prescott is a call he'll be asked about all week.

Dave's running back duo of Jahmyr Gibbs and Kenneth Walker III combined for absurd production and did the heavy lifting all by itself. Bubar's night came down to one flex decision: Terry McLaurin barely moved while Deebo Samuel piled up a big line for nothing on the bench, and that gap alone was bigger than the final margin. About as backbreaking a bench call as you'll see in a week one loss.

Derrick Henry's 34.8 did the heavy lifting for Vick, plain and simple. Richie got a monster line from D'Andre Swift, but Kyler Murray was concussed after 11 snaps and left him playing a man down at quarterback all afternoon. Vick banks the win almost entirely off one workhorse back.

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Brandon's 93.5 was the week's low, and with a 47.3% Sacko probability already attached, he needs the waiver wire more than anyone. Swap's 98.6 win doesn't inspire much confidence either. John still fields one of the best rosters in the league at 0-1 and needs results to match it, while Bubar, Kyle, and Richie all need wins fast to climb back into a playoff spot before the gap widens.

Gooses Owed

• Brad (1): Colston Loveland, TE, CHI, 0.0
• Kyle (1): Texans D/ST, DST, HOU, -2.0
• Richie (1): Kyler Murray, QB, MIN, -0.5 (exited early)

Wall-to-Wall Coin Flips

Lineup problems are already real: TreVeyon Henderson (Out-Ankle) leaves John digging through his bench, and Brock Bowers (did not practice-Knee) does the same to Richie. Nine managers face three flagged lineup calls apiece. Puka Nacua, Christian McCaffrey, Davante Adams and George Kittle all kick off Thursday, locking Richie, Swap, Dave and Vick in first.

Pick'em. Kyle starts Isaiah Likely over a Jonathon Brooks projected two and a half points higher. Brad's stacked three lead backs in Bijan Robinson, Ashton Jeanty and Travis Etienne Jr., yet sweats a receiver call. Kyle's ankle-limited Jeremiyah Love needs to deliver.

Another coin flip, and riding Sam LaPorta over the higher-projected DK Metcalf is stubborn loyalty. John's down TreVeyon Henderson and needs Harold Fannin Jr. to offset Mike's deeper group of backs. Garrett Wilson and Amon-Ra St. Brown make Mike hard to expose.

Coin flip. Brandon must pick between Tucker Kraft and a higher-projected Blake Corum, who kicks off Thursday, so lock that one early. Swap's leaning on Christian McCaffrey and Kyren Williams, both kicking off Thursday too, while his own bench collects dust behind them.

Dead even. Dave's call is Kenny Gainwell, sharing Tampa's backfield with Bucky Irving, over a thumb-limited Jakobi Meyers, a strange thing to sweat with Jahmyr Gibbs anchoring things. Bubar counters by burying Travis Kelce on his own bench, trusting Dallas Goedert instead.

Coin flip. Vick starts Mike Evans, who kicks Thursday, over higher-projected Michael Pittman Jr., so lock that before early games. George Kittle was limited in practice with an Achilles issue but starts anyway. Richie leans on Michael Mayer to replace a knee-limited Brock Bowers.

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Richie brings the week's lowest projection at 112.1 and the league's only starting backup, Michael Mayer, filling in for a knee-limited Brock Bowers. Swap sits behind at 112.6, and Vick's 113.8 leans on an Achilles-limited George Kittle more than anyone would like.

Mike tops the board at 126.4, the week's highest projection, with zero injury designations or backups in his lineup. Steal Sam LaPorta gives him tight end value most managers envy, and Brad sits close behind at 119.6 with his own steal, Ashton Jeanty.

The Board Fills In Columbus

The Dolf's draft convened September 7 in Columbus, Ohio, ten managers working through sixteen rounds apiece. Keepers set the early shape at a few rosters, real values turned up late as always, and a couple of reaches arrived right on schedule.

Dave (pick 1) opened with Jahmyr Gibbs, paired Trey McBride and Malik Nabers, then circled back for Davante Adams, about a round early at wide receiver. Keeper: Kenneth Walker III, Round 5.

Brad (pick 2) didn't attend, out of the country for a wedding in Greece, so Chandler drafted on his behalf. The proxy landed Bijan Robinson and Nico Collins early, found Ashton Jeanty about a round late in round three, then reached for Quentin Johnston about two rounds early. Keeper: Travis Etienne Jr., Round 11.

Swap (pick 3) built around Christian McCaffrey and George Pickens, adding Tee Higgins and Chris Godwin Jr., about two rounds early in round six. His round-ten pick of Josh Jacobs comes with a real complication: Jacobs is on the NFL's Commissioner's Exempt List in connection with a domestic violence case and may not play this season. Keeper: Tyler Warren, Round 8.

Brandon (pick 4) paired Ja'Marr Chase with Chris Olave, taken about half a round early in round two. Tucker Kraft arrived about two rounds late in round nine, a quiet boost at tight end. Keeper: James Cook III, Round 3.

Richie (pick 5) started Puka Nacua and Brock Bowers back to back, then added DeVonta Smith and D'Andre Swift for depth. Tyler Allgeier, nearly six rounds early in round nine, was the strangest call of his draft. Keeper: Rashee Rice, Round 7.

Kyle (pick 6) went Jonathan Taylor and A.J. Brown at the top, then doubled up on running back youth with Jeremiyah Love. Kyle Pitts Sr. slipped to him about a round and a half late, offsetting a reach on KC Concepcion about two and a half rounds early. Keeper: Luther Burden III, Round 14.

Mike (pick 7) paired Amon-Ra St. Brown with Saquon Barkley. MarShawn Lloyd came about a round and a half early in round eight, but Sam LaPorta fell to him nearly two rounds late shortly after. Keeper: Omarion Hampton, Round 3.

Bubar (pick 8) took De'Von Achane and Drake London, then added Breece Hall and Zay Flowers for a deep receiving corps. Courtland Sutton arrived about a round and a half early in round seven, with Travis Kelce added at tight end. Keeper: Javonte Williams, Round 12.

John (pick 9) opened with CeeDee Lamb and Chase Brown, then took Josh Allen in round four. Harold Fannin Jr. fell to him about four and a half rounds late, arguably the best value anyone found all day. Keeper: Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Round 3.

Vick (pick 10) closed the first two rounds with Justin Jefferson and Derrick Henry, about as safe a 1-2 punch as the league has seen. Emeka Egbuka came about a round early in round three, doubling receivers while the backfield stayed thin behind Henry. Keeper: Quinshon Judkins, Round 10.

John and Brad walked away with the draft's best values, Harold Fannin Jr. and Ashton Jeanty landing well past where the market had them. Vick and Brandon both paid a premium for name-brand receivers earlier than necessary. Dave and Bubar built the deepest skill-position rosters, stacking running back and wide receiver depth straight through the middle rounds. Swap's outlook now carries a real question mark at running back.

The single biggest reach of the entire draft belongs to Vick, who took Emeka Egbuka about a round early in round three. That costs more than a late-round flier ever could: Vick's backfield now leans almost entirely on a round-ten keeper, while a workable back like D'Andre Swift was still sitting on the board six picks later. Vick got his receivers. He just paid full round-three price to jump the line.

Ten rosters are locked, waivers are already moving, and Columbus produced its usual split of clean boards and head-scratchers. Vick spends the next few days explaining a round-three reach, John quietly built the best value sheet in the league, and everybody else gets a week to find out whether draft-day theory survives first contact with a real box score. The Dolf awaits.

The Dolf Returns

Good morning Dolfettes, wherever you're reading this from — probably work, probably not doing whatever you're supposed to be doing. The draft is in a couple days, which means it's time to stop pretending you have a plan and start actually making one.

Quick refresher, since half of you couldn't tell me who won last year if your keeper depended on it. Brandon took home the Dolf, with John right there in the finale before choking it away. Kyle's sacko again. Meanwhile Vick, Mike, and Dave are trying to remember what a playoff bracket even looks like — many of you haven't been in the playoffs in a few years. Get it together.

Does Brandon have what it takes to go back-to-back on his first ever Ship? Does Richie, sitting on four of them, even remember what it's like to not be in the conversation?

Vick's clearly decided sitting still isn't an option anymore, leading the league in trades last year, while most of the room barely touched the phone. Whether that aggression turns into a return trip to the Dolfoffs or just more shotguns owed to the group chat is the real question of 2026. Will this be the year Bubar makes his first trade? Probably not — Brad, I hope you're not laughing at that.

Nobody's traveling this year. The draft is in Columbus because half the league already lives there, and calling that a "destination" is generous. It doesn't matter — being stuck in the Midwest isn't stopping anyone from getting overserved before the third round. Vegas gave us MGM and nights half of you don't remember; Columbus just means you're doing it closer to home. And yet somehow, Swap thinks he can get away with forgoing a drive down to Columbus to draft for the day. Talk about starting the season off with some bad karma.

So here we are — a defending champ, a stacked group of playoff-drought teams looking to break through, and a room full of managers who all think they're smarter than they were last August. They're not.

Sharpen the rankings, respect the waiver wire, and don't be this year's Johnny Reacher. It's the Year of the Baby. For all the new and expecting dads out there, sack up. It's football time.